Amongst the colorful cast of the hit cartoon sitcomFamily unit Guy, there'due south probably no character more well-known and amusing than Peter Griffin.

Afterwards all, it's this goofy, dimwitted homo from which the testify's name is derived. Father, married man, and often the driver for setting upwards desultory gags, this hefty New Englander has become the predominant icon of the show. Given his randomness and painfully naive, childish means, he's naturally the linchpin for much of the humor, and by extension, many of the show's funniest quotes.

With this list, we'll comb throughFamily Guy's rich history of over ii decades and highlight 15 of Peter'due south best, most amusing lines.

Updated on October 21st, 2020 by Julian Beauvais: Information technology'south hard to believe that 20 years have passed since Family unit Guy first aired. However, the primetime hijinx of the Griffin family began their 19th flavor in earnest this past September, and have been renewed through to their 21st season. Such longevity is exceedingly rare in a television series and now seemed like a good time to revisit some of the classic lines of ane of the characters who significantly contributed to the show'southward popularity: the loveable Griffin patriarch, Peter.

15 "I have an idea and so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking most."

Family unit Guy is predicated on a central concept: Peter Griffin's buffoonery. Usually, that involves a quickly thought-out and hastily executed plan that can only piece of work with a copious corporeality of cartoon logic. Examples like this abound, from his plan to stop kids from licking toads past infiltrating James Woods Loftier School to claiming his house as a sovereign country to beating the heck out of a man-sized chicken. Peter's hair-brained schemes seem to follow an internal logic that only makes sense to him, equally this quote makes perfectly articulate.

fourteen "Gosh, it'due south not like the internet to go crazy nearly something pocket-sized and stupid."

Family Guy often manages to infuse its episodes with social commentary, either slyly or direct. When Peter'due south one-panel comic stirs controversy on the internet during their crossover with The Simpsons, Peter makes the ascertainment that "it's not like the cyberspace to go crazy about something small and stupid."

Clearly, the comment was an indirect fashion of lampooning internet trolls who've nitpicked elements of both iconic shows. Moreover, it was a full general statement about people using the internet to complain virtually the minutiae of daily life and their propensity to overdramatize issues unduly.

13 "By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you lot where but I will give you lot a hint: it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my b**ls."

Peter's impulsivity is a hallmark of the series. The constant indulgence of his 'stream-of-consciousness' schemes drives the plot for many episodes. In Season four, Episode 25, Peter accompanies Brian's cousin Jasper to a piercing salon to celebrate his impending nuptials. Getting a first-time piercing is definitely not something most people decide upon spontaneously, especially when information technology's a peculiarly sensitive portion of the human anatomy. Peter's decision to do but that highlights his impulsiveness, besides as the serial' propensity to mention topics conventionally unmentionable on network television receiver.

12 "Bird is the discussion."

Indulging in shenanigans and beating a joke to death is par for the course on Family Guy, which is part of its unique appeal.

Perhaps one of the about consistent gags occurred when Peter discovered the '60s earworm Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen. Obsessed, Peter would oft ready up some unsuspecting graphic symbol with a "haven't you heard?" before he'd spontaneously break out into the song's chorus and dance. This seemingly happens whenever the opportunity arises, and may one mean solar day supersede "freakin' sweet" or his trademark laugh equally Peter's catchphrase!

11 *"Shut up, Meg."

The corporeality of vitriol and unabashed hatred 1000000 seems to engender in her entire family (and her begetter in particular) is every bit agonizing, unwarranted, and hilarious. The Season ten episode, "Seahorse Seashell Party," reveals that the family's animosity towards One thousand thousand serves as a way to channel their dysfunction in a way that won't implode the family and cause its disintegration.

That still hasn't stopped Peter from treating Meg horribly, whether information technology's farting in her face or hitting her upside the head with a baseball game bat. Withal, the funniest scrap of Peter'south dumping on Meg is a perfectly timed, drawn-out, and disdainful, "Shut up, Meg," which he'south uttered on many occasions.

x "In that location's A Message In My Alpha-Bits®..."

Family Guycreator Seth MacFarlane establishes early on on and emphatically that Peter's idiocy knows no bounds, setting the stage for some hilarious gags. A prime instance of this early in the evidence's run comes from its very starting time season, which features Peter and Brian sitting at the kitchen table.

Peter seems flabbergasted that his Alpha-Bits® accept apparently flashed him an ominous message of an extended "ooooooo." To cap this off, Brian responds with an irritable"those are Cheerios."The nonchalant manner of this response indicates that the family unit dog puts up with quite a flake of Peter's naivety.

Does heever...

ix "Let'due south Go Drink Until We Can't Feel Feelings Anymore."

A major Peter trope - which is second only to his stupidity - is his love of beer. Information technology's no secret that the man enjoys throwing dorsum booze. This is established right off the bat in the pilot episode ofFamily Guy, which shows a hungover Peter sprawled out on the kitchen table with the family sitting there.

One jewel of a quote that further drives this dwelling house tin be establish in the show'southward third season, which features Peter's friends pulling upward to his place in a police vehicle, ready to drink the night away. The quote Griffin delivers before joining his pals in the van has since go an iconic, meme-worthy line, even spawningFamily Guymemorabilia featuring information technology.

eight "...I'll be D***ed If I'm Gonna Be Lectured By A Debauchee."

Lois certainly isn't shy about calling out her husband'southward naive, insensitive, and immature ways. I such example comes from the fan-favorite Flavour 3 episode, "When you Wish Upon a Weinstein."

Peter'southward wife (rightfully) remarks that Peter is interim similar a kid. His response? An absurd, yet uncharacteristically clever retort, explaining that this would make Lois a "pedophile." He then caps off this silly zinger by walking out of the house and remarking that he won't be lectured by a pervert. Information technology's a memorable moment that's emblematic of the show'due south more nuanced roots.

seven "We Took A Lot From The Simpsons."

Many have critiqued Family Guyfor its apparent parallels to another zany blithe sitcom,The Simpsons. Yous've got similarities of the respective family members, the random wacky happenings and gags, and a dimwitted father at the forefront of it all.

In a move that's both amusing and respectable, Seth MacFarlane and his team of writers acknowledge this head-on with a cheeky quaternary wall scrap. Information technology features a drunken Peter collapsing on his bed and talking to Lois. As those under the influence of Mr. Booze have been known to exercise, Peter hits her with some "real talk" that he wouldn't necessarily own upward to if he were sober.

6 "I May Be An Idiot, Merely There's Ane Thing I'thousand Not Sir, And That Is An Idiot."

Family Guyoften thrives on its sense of ironies, absurdities, and oxymorons - punnotintended. Being a prominent character and an unpredictable fool, Peter is naturally the vessel for many of these funny, ironic contradictions.

While discussing a possible transaction with a sleazy used car salesman - Griffin tries to maintain his dignity by making it clear he's not an idiot. Of course, in typical Peter style, he utterly fails in this by immediately contradicting himself in about the most agreeable manner possible.

5 "Whoa, Whoa... Lois, This Is Non My Batman Glass."

Another Peter trait that's both condemning and somehow endearing is his obliviousness and aloofness with family happenings. This is specifically the case with his children, with whom he's not exactly the most open up. Heck, just ask his personal punching pocketbook, Meg...

Nevertheless, Chris doesn't exactly become much care or attention either. This is illustrated during the episode "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High," where Peter gets the shocking revelation that his immature teenage son is in a relationship with his instructor.

With his reaction seemingly conveying disbelief by way of repeating"whoa!" it appears Peter is showing some humanity of a concerned father. Simply alas - we detect that he'due south only taken aback that the glass he's using is non his Batman glass.

4 "This Is The Story Of Star Wars. Allow'due south Begin With Role Four."

One lovable quality toFamily Guyis its slew of humorous parodies. These range from everyday situations to diverse films and Goggle box shows. One of the most memorable has to come up in the form of aStar Wars spoof, which kicks off with the episode "Blue Harvest." This makes for an emphatic mode to ring in the bear witness'due south 6th flavour, as the Griffins' deep space adventure satirizes diverse events and traits of Star Warsbeat for crush.

This quote serves equally a subtle, but clever mode to introduce this parody by poking fun at the odd chronology of Lucas' saga.

three "I Always Idea Dogs Laid Eggs. And I Learned Something Today."

The memorable Season 3 episode, "Screwed the Pooch" mainly hones in on Brian, as a relationship with some other dog goes awry. All the same, it'southward Brian'south owner who caps off the episode with perhaps its about amusing line as they're walking out of a hospital. Afterwards nosotros see the Ted Turner-esque offspring of Brian's canine lover Seabreeze, Peter chimes in with a quote so goofy and spoken in such a "matter of fact" tone, yous tin can't aid but chuckle.

The quote would be funny enough on its ain merit, simply the realistic pause and inclusion of an "um" midway through gives the argument a little actress something.

2 "Lois Might Be Worth A Meg Dollars To You lot, But To Me She'south Worthless."

Early in the show's run, nosotros get to look in on a prequel story that chronicles the early days of Peter's human relationship with Lois. And just like the present day, Peter'southward dimwitted ways smooth through - making him come off equally even more insensitive than he's already proven himself to be.

Afterward Lois' stern father offers Peter a greenbacks bribe to simply "go away" and leave his daughter alone, Peter responds with a line that's supposed to be endearing, as he tries to convey that Lois is more valuable than money. It's a typical Griffin gaffe, and it'southward a hilarious one.

1 "I'1000 The Most Non-Competitive. So I Win."

Late in Flavour 2, Peter and Lois disharmonism as they're running for Head of the School Lath of Education. But equally is oftentimes the case in politics, a argue on actual issues devolves to unrelated smears and mudslinging. This is all the more amusing considering the opponents in question are husband and wife.

Peter tries to brand his case to Brian that he's not competitive at all, by swiftly contradicting himself in this classic oxymoron of a line. Once over again, Peter reveals his true nature and intentions through his own idiocy.

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Almost The Author

Stephen Lagioia (250 Manufactures Published)

Stephen is an avid Nintendo, Indie, and retro gamer who dabbles in Xbox on occasion, mainly in the class of binge sessions of Overwatch. He'southward a history vitrify, an aspiring author of brusque fiction, and a devout metalhead who enjoys poorly drumming along to Blackness Sabbath on his inexpensive drum set. When his love Chicago Cubs or Bulls are non playing, he typically likes to watch random documentaries or campy horror films.

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